Did I mention the Rum ?

Pirates log :

9:00 am  - Shiver me timbers
10:00 am  - Drink Rum
11:00 am  - Swash me buckle
12:00 am  - Drink Rum
1:00 pm  - Force Scurvy dogs off plank
2:00 pm  - Drink Rum
3:00 pm  - Bury Treasure
4:00 pm  - Drink Rum
5:00 pm  - Avast me hearties
6:00 pm  - Drink Rum
7:00 pm  - Try to remember where
          treasure is buried
8:00 pm  - DRINK RUM

Last time I checked it was more than 30 degrees (Celsius) in the shade and
just standing around made you break out in a sweat. Very few people are
actually on the beach here. Instead they are all out where the water is
about five feet deep and standing with just their heads above the waves.

So I'm not sure how the British Navy ever survived out here, all those
wool uniforms and ruffles and stockings. You'd die of heat exhaustion in
about 10 minutes. I'm guessing that's where the rum comes into play.
Being drunk or hangover gives you other things to worry about.

In my case it was the three days of the music festival with, you guessed
it, more reggae. The music wasn't the problem as much as the fact that it
was constant and loud from lunchtime until 2am. Oh, and the hotel room
was right behind the stage. The best workaround was to get so hammered
that you just eventually passed out and hope you left the air-conditioner
on.

So I've been alternating between finding places to swim and places to
drink, and thus I'm now well informed about all the bars in a 10 mile
radius (which is most of the island).

For The curious, they can all mostly fit into the same review of "Offered
variations of rum cocktails in a decor inspired by driftwood shacks and
beer promoters". The one exception to this was a bar at the end of a dirt
track on the edge of the island (and thus didn't get many tourists). It
had the best cocktail collection around and offered ambient and trip hop
instead of reggae.

Of course it also suffered from not being walking distance to anywhere.
But that was a minor price to pay when you realise that it also was too
far away for the cruise ship jetsam to find.

The peace and quiet only lasted for so long before, on the last day
fortunately, the beach was overrun with tourists from the dark side again.
One minute there were about ten of as and a few stray dogs. The next it
was all bahama shorts and too much skin that should never see the light of
day.

It was time to get out when some yahoo completely ignored the rest of us
in the shop and demanded immediate service, even after the shopkeeper
explained that hew was out of stock of the required item.

On the way back the plane was delayed getting into Chicago.