Stuck in Newark

I should have realised things were going to be bad when I met friends at
the MOMA for an experience of 'performance art' that was so bad we had to
go out drinking for a long time to recover from it.

So I got up yesterday morning with a hangover.

Even though there was a storm warning for that night, I had to go to the
customer and fulfill my duties rather than cut and run. I was officially
expected to be there from 10am to Midday, or later if there were problems.

I also got paged in the morning telling me that my flight was canceled
and I was rebooked on another one at 5pm, so there seemed no need to
panic. I had to assume that they canceled flights in anticipation of
running a reduced capacity airport and runways.

At this point is is best to chronicle the incidents by timestamp (which I
did, by mining my mobile phone logs)

9:15 Staggered into starbucks for coffee.

9:30 Trundled down the the PATH to find that all the trains were
     delayed because of the cold.  It seemed pointless to wait
     another 20 mins.

9:35 Walked the mile in below freezing temperatures to their office

9:45 Get to office, My palm has died, I don't have the phone number
     I have to call Charlie and get it from him.

10:00 We begin the cutover.

11:40 Watched as the snow came in at midday and painted the carpark white

12:00 There are problems with forwarding mail, mail used to be handled by
      the old DNS server, we have to hang around.

12:30 Watched some more as the carpark got whiter.

12:43 Get paged, EWR to DEN canceled, re-booked on EWR to ORD at 5:20

1:20 Tried to call airline, couldn't get through, even in the premium lines,
     Tried to call again many times during the day, realiesd in horror
     as I was sucking through my only battery charge.

2:00 Get paged, EWR to ORD leaving on time

2:30 Finally cut my losses and headed for the airport
     The trip should normally take about 40 mins, so
     I was giving myself some lead time.

2:32 There was no hope of getting a cab, and the roads were humped anyway,
     Headed to PATH Train

2:40 get to PATH, trains delayed, but run every 15 mins

2:58 PATH train arrives

3:10 Get paged, EWR to ORD canceled, told to call reservations
     All lines busy, mobile battery getting flatter.

3:19 Get paged, Flight changed, told to call reservation
     I assume they have re-booked me
     All lines busy, mobile battery getting flatter.

     Getting to the airport is my only hope of finding someone who
     can get me on a plane out of here.

3:20 Get to Newark Penn station, trains to airport are delayed

3:40 train leaves Penn Station for EWR

3:45 Arrive at monorail interchange, get in monorail car

3:49 Doors to monorail are closed, train isn't moving, I can't get out.

4:10 Get out of Monorail after going nowhere, All Monorail
     Trains are now out of service. As this is the airport interchange
     there is no where to go and no taxi stand.

4:20 Indicator board says all United flights are canceled
     Continental still have lots of flights but none to
     the West Coast.

4:30 Busses are being sent, we are herded down a fire exit to the Ground.

4:31 We are stopped in the stairwell. The buses aren't here yet.

4:55 the Buses finally arrive,
     Mad panic as we all try to get on the first bus
     We have been stuck here for an hour

4:59 The bus is stopped at a gate that won't open, the driver finally
     rams it, cheers are heard from the back of the bus.

5:10 Arrive at terminal to find the United desks closed and empty.
     I use the easy checkin phone to find an agent and after much
     negotiation she has me on standby for flights tomorrow
     and standby for an America West flight in at 6pm

5:20 Get to AM West desk to discover that my flight is canceled

5:22 There are staff at the united desk, I need them to yank my ticket
     Back from AM West. Agent does that but says I have no standby
     I have to come back tomorrow, I was lied to by the first agent.

     I'm also told that no fights have left the airport since midday,
     and there won't be any until about 2-3pm tomorrow

5:31 Call Airport Marriott
     After organising a room, tne clerk asks me for my Hilton #.
     WTF ? I've been transferred to the Airport Hilton.

5:33 Decide to WALK across the airport to the Marriott to demand a room
     But step outside to realise that it is snowing so much I can't see
     the damn building (and I know it is only 100M away).  A gust of wind
     clears the falling snow and I see the lights of the hotel.  I take a
     bearing off the control tower and start walking.

     About 1/2 way there my shoes are filled with show, it is below
     freezing and I realise that this is a really bad idea. I suddenly
     visualise them finding my cold dead body in spring after the
     snowdrifts have thawed.

5:41 Get to Marriott, they have rooms ( I don't believe it ) and the
     room rate is only $119 !

5:49 I'm in the hotel room, start calling family.

IRONY :

5:52 Get paged, ORD to SJC leaving on time (fokkers)